finding their voice:

How self-advocacy
BUILDS RESPECT IN YOUNG CHILDREN

The start of a new year often brings fresh intentions—more awareness, better communication, and stronger connections. At First Circle, January is also a time when we focus on the important character trait of respect. One of the most meaningful ways young children learn respect is through self-advocacy—learning how to express their needs, feelings, and boundaries in age-appropriate ways.

For young children, finding their voice isn’t about being loud or demanding. It’s about feeling safe enough to speak up and confident enough to be heard.

WHAT
self-advocacy
LOOKS LIKE
in our classrooms

speech bubble

Self-advocacy develops differently at each stage of early childhood, and we intentionally support it in ways that match children’s developmental needs.

infants

For infants, self-advocacy begins before words. Educators respond consistently to cues like crying, reaching, turning away, or vocalizing.

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These early responses teach infants that their needs matter and that trusted adults will listen.

EXAMPLES

  • acknowledging hunger, tiredness, or discomfort
  • offering comfort when an infant signals distress
  • narrating experiences: “I hear you. You’re telling me you need help.”

toddlers

Toddlers are just beginning to use words, and self-advocacy often shows up through big emotions.

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Toddlers learn that they don’t need to hit, grab, or cry to be understood—words and gestures work.

EXAMPLES

  • encouraging toddlers to use words or simple phrases: “help,” “all done,” “my turn”
  • supporting them in expressing boundaries: “I don’t like that”
  • modeling calm language during conflicts

preschool

Preschoolers are developing independence and social awareness. Self-advocacy becomes more intentional and verbal.

• • • • • • • • • • • • 

Children learn that their voice is important and that others’ voices matter too.

EXAMPLES

  • choosing activities or materials
  • asking for help when frustrated
  • expressing preferences: “I want to try this first”
  • practicing turn-taking and problem-solving with peers

pre-k

In pre-k, self-advocacy supports readiness for kindergarten and beyond.

• • • • • • • • • • • • 

These skills help children build confidence, independence, and respectful communication in larger group settings.

EXAMPLES

  • speaking up in group discussions
  • asking questions
  • expressing emotions respectfully
  • advocating for personal space or support

HOW FAMILIES
CAN NURTURE
self-advocacy
at home

Self-advocacy grows best when children experience it consistently—both at school and at home. Here are some simple, everyday ways families can support this important skill.

STARTING THE YEAR WITH
respect

As we begin a new year, focusing on self-advocacy helps children develop skills they’ll use for a lifetime. When children feel heard and respected, they learn to communicate with confidence, empathy, and care.
We’re proud to support children as they find their voice and learn to use it kindly and respectfully—this month and throughout the year.

Offer choices whenever possible

Choices help children feel respected and capable.

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Even small choices build confidence and decision-making skills.

EXAMPLES

  • “Would you like the red cup or the blue cup?”
  • “Do you want to put on your shoes first or your coat?”
  • “Would you like to read one book or two?”

Encourage children to name their feelings

Helping children identify emotions gives them tools to communicate instead of acting out.

• • • • • • • • • • • • 

Naming emotions teaches children that feelings are normal and manageable.

EXAMPLES

  • “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated.”
  • “Are you feeling sad or disappointed?”
  • “You seem really excited about that!”

Validate emotions while setting clear limits​

Respecting feelings doesn’t mean removing boundaries.

• • • • • • • • • • • • 

This balance teaches children that emotions are valid and limits keep everyone safe.

EXAMPLES

  • “I know you’re upset, and it’s okay to feel that way. It’s not okay to hit.”
  • “You really want to keep playing. It’s hard to stop, and it’s time for dinner.”
  • “I hear that you’re angry. Let’s find a safe way to show it.”

Model respectful communication

Children learn self-advocacy by watching how adults communicate.

• • • • • • • • • • • • 

When children see respect modeled, they learn how to use their own voice respectfully.

EXAMPLES

  • saying “I need a moment” instead of reacting quickly
  • apologizing when you make a mistake
  • speaking calmly during disagreements